I have fallen in love with a sustainable clothing brand. I don’t remember how I found out about them, but I ordered a sweater for myself on a whim, and I love it. The company is in Barcelona and the manufacturing is (for the most part) done in Portugal or Spain. They only make product as they receive orders, though some more popular items might have stock on hand, and shipments are only made when enough orders have been completed so as to bundle them together and reduce the CO2 impact. Plus they have a cute whale logo.
BUT this is not an advertisement for the company, as much as I love them. This is more like “why is shipping so weird and complicated in Germany?”
What?
I refuse to believe the majority of Germany is happy with their postal system. Even international shipping companies run into issues here. It seems once packages and letters cross the border, they suddenly grow minds of their own and flit away to whatever destination they see fit. And not only where, but when, and that is infuriating. One major, major obstacle to proper mail delivery are the charming Altbau themselves.
There are no mailboxes on the outside of these things and generally no way for a postal worker to get in. Therefore, they must buzz the neighbors and hope someone is home to let them into the stairwell where the Briefkasten are. And if no one is home, no one in the building is getting mail! When I was still teaching, and before my client list really grew, I had periods of time where I might be home two or three days in a row. Sometimes I got to be that neighbor who answered the door and there was no pattern when they were coming. Or who they were. I used to enjoy getting to know the postal worker in my neighborhood in Alexandria, or the delivery drivers on their regular routes. Here, that is not going to happen. Not only am I wise enough now not to expect small talk from service associates, but there doesn’t seem to be a regular person assigned to our route.
Of course, you could also decide you want to send a letter one day instead of just passively receiving mail. You cannot leave your letter in your mailbox expecting them to pick it up and send it. There is no way for the postal worker to get into your mailbox. You must hunt the yellow or blue (but mostly yellow) box which is somewhere near your neighborhood. These have the posted pickup hours on them, just like the large blue mailboxes in the states. I wonder if a German has ever been surprised by just how large our personal mailboxes are, since the German ones are this size:
You could also take your letter to a DeutschePost / PostBank drop off point and enjoy being scowled at by the friendly people behind the counter. This is my personal favorite. I also enjoy getting confused by stamps and pricing when I go, forcing them to provide customer service at this customer service counter and it is of course, extremely unreasonable for a customer to expect service at said customer service counter.
That’s DeutschePost. The package delivery system…I don’t even know. They don’t even know. That’s actually true because I called Hermes to ask where my sweater was last week and they said “I don’t know” or they would have, had they answered the phone.
If I had to rank my experiences so far with package delivery in Germany it would go like this:
1. “The Next Generation,” because this series always ranks first, in any list
2. DHL
3. DPD
32. Waiting in line at the DMV in Springfield, VA (my personal record is 6 hours)
56. Getting the special “SSSS” on my boarding pass
174. Hermes
How do I get my Zon fix?
If you would like to order something larger than a few pieces of paper which would fit through a mail slot, you are going to have an adventure. It doesn’t matter who you order from, it matters who they send it via (can you end a sentence with via?). But generally, the process is supposed to go like this:
- Shipping company receives your order
- They assign a tracking number to it
- You receive email from shop with this number
- Then you get to track it to your home
- Delivery driver will (in the case of DHL and DPD) text you to give you an approximate time window of delivery
- When it’s DHL, they’re pretty accurate when you get a text saying they’re 5-10 minutes away
- They ring your bell, bring package to you*
- Or, you are not home, and they try again the next day
- Or, they leave it with a neighbor (if you’ve authorized this, and sometimes even if you haven’t
- Or, they leave a love note on the exterior door with the address of the nearest Packetshop they’ve left your package at
Or, like what just happened with me, which is why I’m telling this story, they leave a love note with indecipherable handwriting and ignore your phone calls and emails asking where it is. In anticipation of this potentially happening, I had even attempted to contact them (unnamed delivery company which is definitely not Bermes) before delivery to say it was ok to leave the package in the stairwell or with any of the neighbors. I would also happily provide another address for them to deliver to. I would wait at home all day even, just pick a day.
Instead, before we had even gotten to the love note, they “attempted” delivery four times, Monday, Tuesday and Saturday (2x). I am extremely skeptical here because when I checked the tracking number online, it showed the driver had attempted on the Monday and Tuesday at approximately 11:05am each time, and typically drivers aren’t that punctual. So on the weekend, I stayed home all day Saturday and even avoided vacuuming or hosting a tap dancing class or doing anything at all remotely loud so I wouldn’t miss the bell (which would have been difficult anyway as it’s so loud).
On Monday, I checked the next tracking update while at work, and it showed two delivery attempts that past Saturday, but seeing as I was home, I know for a fact this is not true. I suppose, trying to show some empathy and put myself in the driver’s shoes, if I saw my customer was the top of the bell panel, meaning the top floor apartment, I might be tempted to not ring that bell and avoid walking up who knows how many flights of stairs to reach them.
On the other hand, come on, you are a delivery driver, deliver.
*I would also say it’s debatable as to whether or not the delivery driver must bring it only inside the exterior door or to your actual door. So far, all delivery people have come all the way upstairs with my packages, with the exception of the guy who had to deliver the new mattress, in which case I met him halfway and we struggled upstairs together.
I arrive home to a note, stuck on the door with another neighbor’s note, both with the same “address” where the packages had been left. What the address appeared to be saying was it was somewhere in my building, so I rang all the doorbells and all neighbors were mystified as to where it could be (except the one who had gotten a package, as they were not home, of course). The handwriting cannot be read by anyone, it is all a mystery, c’est la vie.
I am fortunate enough to have one of my coworkers as my neighbor, but they weren’t home when I knocked. Through the glory of Slack, I sent him a pic of the “Sorry we missed you!” note the next day I was still ohne sweater and he was able to determine the package had been left at the bookstore down the street. Because obviously one would just assume any store on the same street would be ok with holding packages. I figured ok, maybe the neighborhood bookstore does actually do this for its neighbors though.
When I got there I asked if it was ok that the delivery person had done this and if not I would certainly contact the company to let them know that was not acceptable. The store employee didn’t seem to really mind but also didn’t have a proper setup for receiving packages. He pulled my package out from underneath a table, under a pile of books, in the middle of the store. He mentioned they hadn’t really done it before.
In the end, the sweater was received and loved. I highly recommend shopping with this company, though at this time I do not believe they ship outside of Europe. I always recommend avoiding Hermes if possible.
And my other recommendation for today, if you haven’t tried it yet, is to cook with Frischkäse.
How do I avoid this fun?
You sort of can’t, unless you have a work address you can send things to which, I might add, I will definitely be doing in the future. Normally drivers should leave packages at Lotto or Paketshops as mentioned above, and they typically aren’t that far away. In fact during this fiasco I had another package delivered, via DPD, and they attempted one time, left a note with a clear address on it, and the drop off point was a kiosk two blocks away.
I am not thrilled with visiting kiosks, but I’ve done it a few times now and they’re generally pleasant staffed and the system of holding packages for nearby customers is well established. If you have an issue with receiving a package at one, the delivery companies have records of who dropped off which package with whom, including what the original delivery address should have been, so there is a clear papertrail for dispute. Make sure to bring your passport to pick up any packages at these or other Paketshop or PostBank locations.
If all else fails, check with the local shops which may be on your street, as they just might be one of those unofficial but very official community drop-off points the delivery people all use.
